Mind the Gap – Dear Zindgi, Parents, and Elephant in the Room!

Exemplary: Deserving imitation because of excellence … This is for Dear Zindgi!

Kaira & Dr. Jehangir Khan has started a Thread to address a “Problem” (Elephant in the Room) that needs to be addressed by Parents for betterment of their Family. According to Confucius, Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. We often think that to achieve something or to get someone we need to go through lot of pain. We also feel that it has to be a difficult path and that’s the only way to get what we want.

But the question is, whether we are ready to face those difficulties? If not then why to complicate things? Why can’t we choose easier path and keep our mind peaceful?

Yesterday, I watched this Movie Dear Zindgi. Dear Zindagi (Dear Life) is a 2016 Indian drama film directed by Gauri Shinde and produced by Gauri Khan, Karan Johar and Shinde under the banners of Red Chillies Entertainment, Dharma Productions and Hope Productions and star cast of Shah Rukh Khan, Alia Bhatt, and others.

After a movie I thought a lot and it is important to address few issues to Mind the Gap or bridge the gap between Idea and Execution or at least to identify or accept the problem first and then go for its execution. If I won’t accept my past experiences, my patterns, my flaws then I won’t be able to address it ever.

Idea to fix it originates when we accept the Problem.

There are some exemplary experiences and conversations in the Movie and that’s where we as a society needs to deep dive in.

First:

There is scenario of conflicts between Parents and a Child. In today’s day and age, parents don’t realize or can’t realize the need to fulfill the Gap between giving facilities to the child and Loving the child. To give what the kid wants is not Love. If you think your child doesn’t understand what’s going on then you are living in a Fool’s paradise.

This aspect has been portrayed beautifully in the Movie. Having said that, as a parent we must understand the need to care and love the child. It’s not a Job of a Care taker or Day Care Businesses. If it is that painful to raise the Kid then what is the need to have a child?

There is a rational argument that for the better future we keep them away to boarding school, or another city or with relatives. But, have you realized what it can do to the child? If the child is not mature enough to understand then he or she will be in terrible state. I don’t buy the argument that they will forget this pain. Memory of a child is very sharp and good … it is not at all good situation. Outcome is, your child will learn to live without you and that is a disaster in waiting. Once a Glass is broken, cracks are visible and it can’t be fixed completely.

It will take years to heal and can dent a child’s psychology. That child may not be able to recover fully from the Hate and Self Low Esteem. This is a huge Message from the Movie and I hope People will realize it.

Second:

Because of the First issue, what happens normally is Child learn to create a wall around own self and becomes extremely vulnerable. He or she is so vulnerable that even if there is a good relation on the cards, mindset of walls and vulnerabilities won’t allow child who has become an adult to trust people because they will go away the way their parents went away in childhood.

It is not easy to understand but Mental happiness and mental health is extremely complicated and can go worst anytime and explode anytime.

I understand now, why Kaira denied to commit for a relationship even when there was a spark between her and her counterpart as she saw Boy’s ex remotely coming into picture and she decided to say “NO” before the Boy fall in relation with his Ex and Say NO to Kaira. It is just complicated and not acceptable or not understandable but in the later part she reveals that she can not take rejection. The reason why she can’t is troubled childhood. Even as an adult she is finding it very difficult to recover from the Hate because it is not that simple.

Why it is not simple because the issue is not identified and hence you can’t fix if you don’t know the problem. Once you identify then you try to find a solution and bridge the gap or Mind a Gap.

Dear Zindgi is a wonderful attempt to awake Parents in today’s day and age. I am not very much hopeful because it is Movie and Inspirational Movies don’t necessarily change the society. It happens only in movie but even after that negativity, if few parents realize what they need to fix and execute those steps then Few children will be saved from experiencing immense pain.

Take 1: